Someday
by Stars and Supernovas
Summary: They will love each other to the end of time. Even if they can’t show it. Even if there is always someone standing in the way. Even if they never end up together truly. He owns her heart. And she has held his since the day they first met. Jim/Pam


**Disclaimer:** I own absolutely nothing.

**A/N:** Okay, the timeline for this would be a few months after Casino Night. This is my first fic, and it's not very conventional structural wise, but I was trying something out. And before I forget, a huge thanks to ktface3 who beta'd this for me. Feedback is much appreciated, as this is my first fic, and I'm just kind of testing out the waters. Note that the next story I do won't have this type of structure, it will be, uh, normal. This is a one-shot.

* * *

_Someday_

-

She was hiding who she was

And no one realized because no one cared enough to know her beneath her pretty face

Especially her fiancé.

He was in the shadows

And no one could see his potential brimming just underneath the surface.

She was untouchable to him

He was unreachable to her

He confessed his feelings

She pushed him away

They broke each other's hearts

He watched her run away

He chose not to wait for her

He chose not to fight for her

Instead he moved away

He met someone new

They each belonged to someone else

Her boyfriend hated him

His girlfriend envied her

She realized that her boyfriend didn't understand her half as much as he did

She saw she was throwing away her first real chance at being with someone who could be her soul mate

She took back her decision

She came back to him

But it was too late

He had moved on

He broke her heart

He didn't understand

She cracked

She tried. She let him in. She was honest.

She got burned.

He was too honorable to be with her

He was too scared of what it could mean

He had never stopped thinking about her

She could never walk away from him

But his honor still bound him

She doesn't care about honor anymore

He wants to care

She's breaking inside

He wants to save her

She has no one else

He wants to be all she ever needs

She can't make him see that he's all she's ever wanted

He chooses to ignore the signs

He breaks her again

And again

And again

And again

With each longing gaze he pretends to misinterpret

With each caring word he swallows and unthinks

With each caress he doesn't give her

She dies inside

He is immobile in bringing her back to life

All he has to do is hold out his hand

But it's glued to his side

He wants her

He needs her

He can't stop thinking about her

It always comes back to her

But somehow he is unable to understand that he loves her

She doesn't know

He's too frightened to show her

They've been through too much

He doesn't want to ruin a friendship

He doesn't want to ruin his honor

He doesn't want to believe that he could have had her months ago, but chose against it

He doesn't want to think about the fact that it's his fault he's not with her

He doesn't know what to do

He doesn't know how to think

He doesn't know what to feel

All he can do is look, listen, hope to touch

All he can do is will her to see that he _does_ care for her

He loves her

He just doesn't realize it

He loves her

He just doesn't know how easy it could be to have her

He loves her

He just doesn't think he deserves her

They walk in circles

They dally around fate, delaying it constantly, delaying their very happiness

They are one step away

But they make excuses to avoid the step

She's dying

And he can't make himself do a thing to stop it

She's dying

And it's his fault

It isn't pleasant

It isn't easy

It isn't simple

But it is real

It always was

Time will not diminish it

If only they could walk one small step

He stares at her

She stares right back

His eyes bring tales of heartache and sorrow

Hers speak of regret and restraint, longing and hope

They will love each other to the end of time

Even if they can't show it

Even if there is always someone standing in the way

Even if they never end up together truly

He owns her heart

And she has held his since the day they first met

No one else mattered back then

And no one else will ever matter

Steps away, inches away

A lifetime of passed moments

A lifetime of lost days, of unspent memories, of unrealized dreams

But they will love each other to the end of time

In the confines of their hearts, in the darkness of their minds, in the thoughts no one can read

They stare at each other

Does he know?

Does she know?

Have they _always_ known?

Time will pass them by. Death will claim them. There will be other loves.

Not like this. Never like this.

She'll marry. He'll cry.

He'll marry. She'll hate his wife.

He will still look at her

She will still feel his eyes

Their love cannot die

No matter how they will it to

No matter how they ignore, deny, falsify it

No matter who they seek as replacements

They will always care

To the very last breath

To the very last pain of regret

To the very last thought, feeling, desire

It will never fade

Photos pass, memories wash away, but the girl he once knew will occupy his thoughts and he'll wonder where she is, how she is.

He'll ask himself why he never went for it; he'll curse himself for never trying.

She'll sit at home and close her eyes and his smil will come to her as easily as it ever came.

She misses him. She wonders if he's happy. She knows he's no happier than she is.

She'll die. He'll die. A lifetime of longing

A lifetime wasted

But in another life

In another time

In another place where honor and fear and fiancés won't stand in their way

They will be together

Because even death cannot break their love

One lifetime gone. Another awaits.

She'll see him.

He'll see her.

And this time, he'll say I love you

She won't run away

She won't say they can't have it

He won't choose someone else

He won't let her go

She won't be too late

Nothing else will matter

Nothing else ever mattered

In another time

In another world

They will still love as much they always did

And someday, some day however distant, they will find themselves in each other's arms

Someday fate will connect them

Someday, _she_ will be his wife

Someday, she won't be dead inside

Someday, he will be the one to save her

They cannot die. They cannot forget. They cannot pretend

And someday, they won't have to.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.


End file.
